Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
