i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
