I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
