I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
