i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So many bounce houses so little time
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
