It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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