I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
