idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize