i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
