She said her name was "party"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
