Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
