We're facebook friends in real life
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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