Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
