I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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