i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
