Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
