yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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