I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
