Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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