i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
