I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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