are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
