he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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