How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize