I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
