I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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