his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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