yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
