every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You smell like stripper and shame
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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