giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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