:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
thus making me awesome and them whores
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
