You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
do herpes really smell.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
