I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
