i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
