i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
