The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
