My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
