oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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