it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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