How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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