I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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