no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
