so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
