Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
