i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
