My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
