I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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