Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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