what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
