oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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